As a family advocate fighting for the rights of people to
feel free from violence, I find Clarence Thomas’ argument about misdemeanors
and guns ignorant and naive. The reason many domestic disputes are misdemeanor
is because for far too long we have viewed violence in the home as a private
matter and society hasn’t been willing to give consequences for the outrageous
behavior. Men, women and children are maimed and murdered annually after years
of severe emotional, financial, sexual and physical abuse. Often convictions
are guessing games and the persons with the abusive tendencies walk away with a
mere slap on the wrist and then turn around and annihilate their families. Family
members being assaulted learn that they have no recourse and must endure the
extreme abuse often subjecting their children to a life harsher than a warzone.
What most people don’t recognize about family violence including our great
leader here is psychopathy is a progressive disorder, which is a grooming
process where each assault, whether emotional or otherwise, increasingly
worsens—eventually leading to trauma and a spectrum of mental health issues for
everyone exposed to the intensity. I have been a proponent of using education
and treatment FIRST to assist families in the earlier stages of family violence
instead of punishment but the issue is so polarized because everyone’s looking
for the bad guy. If we required the entire family to get intervention services
maybe people could maintain their rights to bear arms while guaranteeing the safety
of others— saving lives and allowing families to live violence-free.
Unfortunately, we’re looking for someone to take the rap but we’re missing the
mark, as 40% of convicted people at least in my program were actually the ones who got assaulted. We’re judging families through shame for being “stupid”
enough to stay yet handing kids over to violent parents for leaving giving the
abusive persons access to assault their children and torment the protective
parents. We’re unwittingly locking parents and partners into battering
relationships for years because we don’t want to take away their rights or
subject them to anything, which could tarnish their reputations. If people
don’t want to lose their rights to bear arms THEN STOP hurting others. Simple
as that! But to accomplish this feat we must reframe how we see violence and
help families educate themselves on how to live differently. I have worked with
many people with abusive tendencies and they change when they understand they
can get their needs met without using violence and people who are abused learn
that what they were exposed to wasn’t normal. In order to tackle violence, we
must recognize the early warning signs. If you threaten to blow up an airport
or shoot a supreme-court justice, it is automatically considered more than a
misdemeanor so let’s make our families just as important. Why should the elite
be entitled to protection when the vulnerable are ignored?